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Love the life you live, live the life you love!

(Koosje can be pronounced as ‘Koshe’)

PSYCHOLOGIST  |  LONDON SW1  |  2019  | KOOSJE KOSTERS 0745492I999

Charity: Better Lives Foundation

Better Lives Foundation (BLF) is a UK registered charity number 1122290 that works to better people’s lives in West Africa and North India.

Better Lives Foundation has no costs in the UK. All funds are spent in Sierra Leone. We are like the SAS of charities.’

We pay no UK wages and we are all self funded! If you are feeling good, feel free to donate. Or even better is you are have a medical profession and would like to join us sometime on a trip to Africa or India, let us know..

At BLF we provide educational and medical support in remote areas where it is scarce. Our team of Volunteers, from a variety of background, work selflessly and tirelessly for our projects both in Uttarakhand (North India) and Yonibana, Sierra Leone (West Africa).

Is it safe, Sierra Leone, West Africa? Yes, it is. We had a great time teaching local doctors. For a decade now, the charity has been paying for education in remote villages, so they can afford to educate themselves, go through further education and even applying for medical school, together with the students we treated up to three hundred patients a day, providing very much needed free medical care to people who may never had the privilege to speak to a doctor before..

Better Lives Foundation

Baby Sleep Coaching

Baby Sleep Video’s:

According to Priscilla Dunstan, the five universal words (or sound reflexes) used by infants (0-3mths) are:

  • Neh (I’m hungry) – An infant uses the sound reflex “Neh” to communicate its hunger. The sound is produced when the sucking reflex is triggered, and the tongue is pushed up on the roof of the mouth.
  • Owh (I’m sleepy) – An infant uses the sound reflex “Owh” to communicate that they are tired. The sound is produced much like an audible yawn.
  • Heh (I’m experiencing discomfort) – An infant uses the sound reflex “Heh” to communicate stress, discomfort, or perhaps that it needs a fresh diaper. The sound is produced by a response to a skin reflex, such as feeling sweat or itchiness in the bum.
  • Eairh (I have lower gas) – An infant uses the sound reflex “Eairh” to communicate they have flatulence or an upset stomach. The sound is produced when trapped air from a belch is unable to release and travels to the stomach where the muscles of the intestines tighten to force the air bubble out. Often, this sound will indicate that a bowel movement is in progress, and the infant will bend its knees, bringing the legs toward the torso.This leg movement assists in the ongoing process.
  • Eh (I need to be burped) – An infant uses the sound reflex “Eh” to communicate that it needs to be burped. The sound is produced when a large bubble of trapped air is caught in the chest, and the reflex is trying to release this out of the mouth.

 

OVERVIEW OF HOW MUCH SLEEP YOUR BABY SHOULD  HAVE:

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1 GAP: refers to the time that should pass between the last time your child woke up and the beginning of the following sleep period. For example, when we are referring to the morning nap, this GAP is the hours between his natural waking time and the ideal time for his morning nap to start. 

When we are talking about the mid-day nap this GAP is the hours between the end of his morning nap and the ideal time for his mid-day nap to start, if your child still has a morning nap. If your child doesn’t have a morning nap, this GAP is the hours between his natural waking time and the ideal time for his mid-day nap to start. 

2 Bedtime GAP: refers to the time that should pass between the end of your child’s last nap and his bedtime.

 3 Sleeping Through the Night: refers to the longest stretch that your child could go without waking up. In parenthesis you will see the number of waking’s that are considered average for a child that age.

 

Baby Sleep Training

Milestones

Current situation: Jasmin is rocked to sleep every night and every nap. After that, she sleeps in her crib in Christine’s bedroom

  • Milestone 1: Jasmin is gently rocked to sleep every night and nap. Christine’s rocking slows down and the motions are not as vivid.
  • Milestone 2: Jasmin is held to sleep, but not rocked.
  • Milestone 3: Jasmin is held until she’s very drowsy, but she is still awake when put in the crib. Christine stays touching and patting Jasmin until she falls asleep.
  • Milestone 4: Jasmin is held until she is drowsy. She is placed in her crib while still awake. Christine stays by the crib touching Jasmin, but without moving her arm or patting her.
  • Milestone 5: Jasmin is held until she is drowsy. She is placed in her crib while still awake. Christine stays by the crib until Jasmin is asleep, but there is no more physical contact.
  • Milestone 6: Jasmin is held until she is drowsy. She is placed in her crib while still awake. Christine stays by the crib for a short period of time and then leaves before Jasmin is asleep.
  • Desired situation: Jasmin is put in her crib awake, and she falls asleep on her own.

Baby Sleep Training

Side By Side Approach – (Age month 5 and up)

Phase 1: sitting close by & physical touch (Days one to three)

1. Ten to twenty minutes before nap time or bedtime, bring your child to nursery.

2. Before you start the soothing sleep routine, let her know that it is time to sleep now and that after your routine, you will stay there in the room with her until she falls asleep, but you will not pick her up.

3. Follow your daily sleep routine. This can mean changing diapers, putting pyjamas on, singing a lullaby, hugging, rocking for a little bit, reading a book..

4. Put her in the crib, saying comforting words (i.e., ”I love you, time to sleep now”). You can pat her back for half a minute to a minute.

5. Sit on your chair or on the floor, whichever you have decided. You can still pat her back or just let her touch your hand (some babies do not like to be stroked, but love to hold your hand). You can also ”shh” her a little bit, but do not engage in any other conversation from this moment on. Do not say, ”It’s time to sleep,” ”go back to sleep,” ”mommy loves you” .. we all fall into that trap. Our words per se don’t reassure them, we do. If your child stands up in her crib, let her stand. She will eventually sit and lie, especially if you are sitting by the crib.

6. Stay there, until she falls asleep. Then, leave the room, but keep the chair where it is, as you might have to come back to it during the night.

If she wakes up in the middle of the night:

7. Go back to her room, calm her without picking her up for one to two minutes (you can ”shh” her, pat her back, and lie her back down is she was standing).

8. Sit on the same position you sat before. You can still pat her back or just let her touch your hand. You can also ”shh” her a little bit, but do not engage in any other conversation from this moment on. If your child stands up in her crib, let her stand. She will eventually sit and lie, especially if you are sitting by the crib.

9. Stay there, until she falls asleep. Then, leave the room, but keep the chair where it is, as you might have to come back to it during the night.

Phase 2: Sitting close by, no more physical touch (Days four to six).

1. Ten to twenty minutes before nap time or bedtime, bring your child to nursery.

2. Before you start the soothing sleep routine, let her know that it is time to sleep now and that after your routine, you will stay there in the room with her until she falls asleep, but you will not pick her up.

3. Follow your daily sleep routine. This can mean changing diapers, putting pyjamas on, singing a lullaby, hugging, rocking for a little bit, reading a book..

4. Put her in the crib, saying comforting words (i.e., ”I love you, time to sleep now”). You can pat her back for half a minute to a minute.

5. Sit on your chair at the same spot and position you used until now. Do not pat her or touch her from that point on. She can reach out and grab your shirt, your hair, your arm or your hand. That is all perfectly fine; do not take her hands off you of you. Let her touch you or grab you if she desires to do so. You can also ”shh” her a little bit, but do not engage in any other conversation from this moment on. If your child stands up in her crib, let her stand. She will eventually sit and lie, especially if you are sitting by the crib.

6. Stay there, until she falls asleep. Then, leave the room, but keep the chair where it is, as you might have to come back to it during the night.

If she wakes up in the middle of the night:

7. Go back to her room, calm her without picking her up for one to two minutes (you can ”shh” her, pat her back, and lie her back down is she was standing).

8. Sit on the same position you sat before. You can still pat her back or just let her touch your hand. You can also ”shh” her a little bit, but do not engage in any other conversation from this moment on. If your child stands up in her crib, let her stand. She will eventually sit and lie, especially if you are sitting by the crib.

9. Stay there, until she falls asleep. Then, leave the room, but keep the chair where it is, as you might have to come back to it during the night.

Phase 3: Sitting nearby (Days seven to nine).

Place your chair 2 to 3 feet (60-90cm) away from your child’s crib, and closer to the door.

1. Ten to twenty minutes before nap time or bedtime, bring your child to nursery.

2. Before you start the soothing sleep routine, let her know that it is time to sleep now and that after your routine, you will stay there in the room with her until she falls asleep, but you will not pick her up.

3. Follow your daily sleep routine.

4. Put her in the crib, saying comforting words (i.e., ”I love you, time to sleep now”). You can pat her back for half a minute to a minute.

5. Sit on your chair (2 to 3 feet away). There is no physical contact from now on. She might get frustrated about it, especially the first night.

You can also ”shh” her a little bit, but do not engage in any other conversation from this moment on. If your child stands up in her crib, let her stand. She will eventually sit and lie, especially if you are sitting by the crib.

6. Stay there, until she falls asleep. Then, leave the room, but keep the chair where it is, as you might have to come back to it during the night.

If she wakes up in the middle of the night:

7. Go back to her room, calm her without picking her up for one to two minutes (you can ”shh” her, pat her back, and lie her back down is she was standing).

8. Sit on the same position you sat before. You can ”shh” her a little bit, but do not engage in any other conversation from this moment on. If your child stands up in her crib, let her stand. She will eventually sit and lie, especially if you are sitting by the crib.

9. Stay there, until she falls asleep. Then, leave the room, but keep the chair where it is, as you might have to come back to it during the night.

Phase 4: Sitting farther away (Days ten – until you reach the door).

Place your chair another 2 to 3 feet (60-90cm) away from your child’s crib, and closer to the door. So now you are 4 to 6 feet away from your child’s crib.

1. Ten to twenty minutes before nap time or bedtime, bring your child to nursery.

2. Before you start the soothing sleep routine, let her know that it is time to sleep now and that after your routine, you will stay there in the room with her until she falls asleep, sitting on that chair, but you will not pick her up.

3. Follow your daily sleep routine.

4. Put her in the crib, saying comforting words (i.e., ”I love you, time to sleep now”). You can pat her back for half a minute to a minute.

5. Sit on your chair (4 to 6 feet away). There is no physical contact from now on. She might get frustrated about it, especially the first night.

You can also ”shh” her a little bit, but do not engage in any other conversation from this moment on. If your child stands up in her crib, let her stand. She will eventually sit and lie.

6. Stay there, until she falls asleep. Then, leave the room, but keep the chair where it is, as you might have to come back to it during the night.

If she wakes up in the middle of the night:

7. Go back to her room, calm her without picking her up for one to two minutes (you can ”shh” her, pat her back, and lie her back down is she was standing).

8. Sit on the same position you sat before. You can ”shh” her a little bit, but do not engage in any other conversation from this moment on. If your child stands up in her crib, let her stand. She will eventually sit and lie.

9. Stay there, until she falls asleep. Then, leave the room, but keep the chair where it is, as you might have to come back to it during the night.

Every 3 nights, move your chair another 2 to 3 feet away from the crib and closer to the door, until you are by the door. The bigger your child’s bedroom is, the longer this process will take. Once you reach the door, stay there for another three nights, until you move out.

Phase 5: Staying outside of the room.

After three nights sitting by your child’s nursery’s door, it is time to move your chair outside. Place the chair outside the door and show it to your child as you bring her to her room at bedtime. Tell her that you are going to be there even though she won’t see you.

If you typically leave the door closed when your baby sleeps and have been closing it during the sleep training process you can either (1) close the door behind you the first night you sit outside; or (2) leave it a little bit open the first three nights.

The fourth night (or seventh night, if you decide to leave the door semi-closed for three nights – option (2) above), do not pace any chair. Let your child know that you will be close by as she falls asleep. This step is especially important for toddlers, and it’s not as important for babies.

Once you are at this point, you can go closer to your child’s bedroom door, as silently as possible, and ‘shh” her again if she’s protesting. This way, she knows that even though she can’t see you and that there was no chair, you are still around. Make sure she doesn’t hear you stepping closer to the door and going away.

Baby Sleep Training

Periodic Comfort & Reassurance

Most effective babies between 6 to 18 months of age (not recommended before 6 months or after 2,5 years).

Most babies get very upset during the first days of this approach, so they make as much noise and complaining as possible to go back to the previous habits. Therefore, the first days are hard on the parents, because they normally see a level of crying and frustration that they rarely seen in their children.

Some parents say that even though it’s heartbreaking seeing their child so upset, they know their child is not being harmed, and they are even happier when the whole family is sleeping well in a short amount of time. Other parents say that they would rather spend more time and decrease the amount of crying.

It usually takes less than 7 to 10 days for most babies to be sleeping independently.

Age 1st check in 2nd check in 3rd check in
6 to 12 months 3 6 12
13 to 18 months 4 7 15
1,5 to 2,5 yrs 5 8 18
  1. Ten to twenty minutes before nap time or bedtime, bring your child to the nursery.
  2. Before you start the soothing sleep routine, let her know that it is time to sleep now and that after your routine, she will stay there in her crib, and you will leave. Make sure that she knows that you will be nearby if she needs you.
  3. Follow your daily sleep routine; changing nappies, putting on pyjama’s, singing a lullaby, hugging, rocking for a little bit, reading a book.. Whatever you have decided.
  4. Put her in the crib, saying comforting words ‘I love you, time to sleep now’. You can pat her back for half a minute to a minute.
  5. If she starts crying, wait for [1st check in] minutes to go back in again and reassure her. You can pat her back and ‘shh’ her, but do not pick her up for 30 to 60 seconds. This time, you can say again, ‘Night, night. It’s time to sleep’. Your goal is not to get her to sleep. Your goal is to let her know that you are there, if she really needs you, but it’s time to sleep.
  6. If she starts crying once you leave the room, wait [2nd check in] minutes outside.
  7. If after that time she is still crying, go inside and repeat step 4, without talking this time. If she’s not crying, or you feel she’s calming down on her own, don’t go inside. For example, if she’s talking or making noises, fussing but not crying, don’t go in; this may cause her to get worked up again.
  8. If she starts crying again once you leave the room, wait [3rd check in] minutes outside.
  9. If after that time she is still crying, go inside and repeat step 4, without talking this time. If she’s not crying, or you feel she’s calming down on her own, don’t go in; this may cause her to get worked up again.
  10. If she starts crying again once you leave the room, repeat steps 8 and 9 until your baby is either calmed or sleeping.

 

Meditation video’s:

 


 

 


The Best Reviews in London 🏆

Moe S Dr. M. S:

Simply put, Koosje is a professional. She has a very holistic approach and takes the time to listen and understand the needs (and goals) of her patients. I highly recommend anyone in need of physiotherapy book a session with Koosje to see what I mean. If you’re like me, you will find that in addition to noticing an improvement in your physical ailment, you will also improve as a person.

Ellemieke Van Laere Ellemieke V:

I went to see Koosje with my twin babies for cranial osteopathy. One son suffered from colic and the other son got quite stressed at bedtime, for no clear reason. Koosje did an amazing job. She showed me exercises I could do at home to improve the colics and to relax their muscles. The results came pretty much instantly and I can say that both are doing so much better now!

Joseph Gale Joseph G:

I first saw Koosje after tearing my ankle ligament in a XC race. Not only did she provide first class advice on rehabilitation (massage and a strengthening exercises) but helped me to deal with the psychological impact of the injury so close to my target event of the marathon. Her support helped me to get back to fitness and still manage to achieve a PB time of 2hr 48min!

Since then I have had an operation on my shoulder and Koosje has again provided top rate support in helping me to recover at a faster than expected rate.

Her support goes beyond physical rehabilitation; our conversations have genuinely helped me to shape my thinking about many aspects of my life.

I couldn’t recommend her more highly.

 

Read more… over a hundred reviews on Google